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Don’t Be Like Scrooge McDuck Either

Since we are entering the weekend and it has been a wild week, I wanted to dive into a topic of paramount importance – Could Scrooge McDuck really have been able to swim in a pool of gold coins?  I know this is one of those topics that keeps you awake at night.


Fortunately, we now know the answer to this question.  Professor James Kakalios, PhD, who teaches physics at the University of Minnesota, has now told us this is highly unlikely.  Not only would he be unable to swim through the coins but an attempt to even enter a pool filled with gold coins most likely would cause great harm.


If you ever saw Scrooge McDuck enter his pool it was always in a diving motion.  His hands were in a prayer position in front of his face.  Dr. Kakalios said this type of entry into the pool would definitely break the wrists of old Scrooge.  Gold is a granular material like sand.  Well, have you ever tried to dive into a pool full of sand?  If you have I am sure you did not do it twice.  It is like diving onto a solid surface.  Now, if you jumped feet first and bent your knees you may escape injury, but you still will not break the surface of the coins or sand.


Some fans of Scrooge McDuck feel he had a secret so he could enter his gold coin pool without injury.  Why would people speculate this, I have no idea?  Let’s get back on this important topic.  Even if you had a wonderful lubricant covering all the coins you still would not be able to make much if any progress through the coins after entry.  As Dr. Kakalios points out, gold coins are much denser than the flimsy balls you see in a ball pit at places like Chuck E Cheese (also known as hell on Earth in our house).


Now, the worst news for old Scrooge McDuck is the fact he is a duck, a Pekin Duck specifically.  Ducks bones are hollow, otherwise they would not be able to fly.  Assuming his pool was five-feet deep with gold coins he would most likely be crushed to death as the weight of a five-foot pile would be well over a ton.


Oh, you may be wondering what caused me to write about such a topic.  Well, I have seen some recent headlines about how retirees are hoarding cash.  Cash provides security.  Most people feel more secure if they have large portion of their investable assets in cash.  While I can talk until I am blue in the face about not keeping too much in cash due to loss of purchasing power from inflation, I will never argue with a client about what cash amount helps them feel secure.  And because my mind is a bit unique all this cash hoarding reminded me of old Scrooge McDuck.  So now you know some extra useless knowledge.  In the meantime, have a good weekend and hopefully you caught my awesome pun in the first sentence.

About Dan Johnson, CFP

I am the President and CCO of Forward Thinking Wealth Management, LLC, which is the flat-fee financial planning firm located in Akron, OH, and set up to work virtually with clients across the country. I charge clients a flat fee of $4,800 regardless of asset size. My firm is a solution to what I feel is a broken system where clients pay advisors based on something out of their control - the performance of the market.
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